I moved to London in 2017 as a bright eyed, enthusiastic 23 year old. I had graduated university the year before and was working my first job in Newcastle, the city where I had studied, but half way through that year I decided I was ready for a change. I made plans to transfer roles, gave my notice on my Newcastle flat and found somewhere new to live in London. All too soon, on one of the hottest days of 2017, I found myself sitting in a removal van on my way to London.
This may make it sound like moving to London is an easy thing to do. The reality is, that upping your life and moving cities is never straightforward. It was an incredibly stressful experience and I made many mistakes in those months both before and after moving. While I am grateful for where I am now, looking back, there are many things that I wish I had done differently.
1. Not exploring my options for what part of London to live in
Before I moved to London, my knowledge of the capital was limited. I knew the tourist attractions like Big Ben and the tower of London and a little about West London life from watching Made in Chelsea. However I had no idea about the areas normal people like myself actually lived. Clapham, Hackney and Islington were just names to me. They could be nice, acceptable places to live. Or they could be hell holes to avoid at all costs, unless you want to get stabbed walking home at night.
I did do some research before I moved, however I didn’t trust the articles and forums I read online. Instead I based my decision off advice from friends who already lived there and my own limited experience of visiting London. I settled on Balham in south west London, mainly because a good friend from uni lived there and I had visited him once so knew the area was reasonably safe.
I ended up living in Balham for a year and a half when I first came to London. It was a nice place to live and fulfilled my key criteria of being safe. However looking back it was a mistake not to consider other options. Balham is in zone 3 and reasonably far out from the centre. While the transport links are good, I could have considered living closer in zone 2 and saved myself money from commuting. In addition, I had friends who lived in East London and it took ages for me to get to their house if I wanted to visit.
If you are moving to London, be open to different options of where to live. I was so concerned about living somewhere safe that I was closed off to other options. You may be overly concerned about something different (location, safety, living in a trendy area, being near good nightlife etc.) however make sure you take other things into account and weigh up your options sensibly.
2. Letting Estate agents panic me into making bad housing decisions
As I lived in Newcastle before I moved to London, housing hunting had some logistical problems. If a new flat came on rightmove that I liked the look of, I couldn’t just nip down to London to check it out before someone else took it. Instead I had to fit all my viewings into the 2 day window when I had planned to come to London, and pick the best option.
In my naivety I made the mistake of telling estate agents who were showing me around that I had to find a flat in those 2 days. I saw many flats and almost all of them were terrible. The only one that was in any way liveable was slightly more than my budget. When I suggested putting in an offer below what the landlord was looking for, the estate agent went out of his way to persuade me otherwise. He told me that he had shown lots of other potential tenants around before me and he knew a few of them were interested in putting in an offer. If we didn’t want to be beat, we’d need to offer the full asking price.
This may have been true, however the flat was very small and I did not think it was worth what the landlord was asking. Unfortunately, given I was at the end of my 2 day search and this was my only option. I allowed myself to be panicked into making the full offer. For a year and a half I paid more than I should have for a flat that turned into a bit of a nightmare (leaky bathroom, mould, mice problem) and all because I gave into pressure from the estate agent.
The moral of this story is that you are picking a home for at least the next year you need to like it. Your rent is also a big percentage of your paycheck so this is an important decision. Even if the agent was right and I couldn’t have gotten the property at a lower price there are always other options. I wouldn’t have ended up homeless either as you can easily stay in an airbnb temporality when you first move down and use that time to find somewhere nice with less pressure.
3. Thinking I could afford to do everything that I wanted
London is expensive and on top of that, there are so many amazing things to do. One of the main things that attracted me to London was the opportunity to go to cool events and gigs that do not exist in other places.
I could live like a queen on my graduate salary in Newcastle but moving to London was a substantial pay cut. It felt like a return to my university days where I had to keep a close eye on my bank account to ensure I didn’t dip into my overdraft before pay day. I did not initially give that much thought to budgeting or money. I was just happy to be here and be experiencing London life.
However I quickly realised that money was going to be a problem. I was eating through my paycheck every month without fail even while I was trying my best to be frugal. The problem was I was not at all disciplined. If anyone mentioned ‘after work drinks’ I would be there. Justifying it by the fact that I need to make friends. If my boyfriend suggested getting a takeaway instead of cooking I would immediately agree because I was tired from the week. I justified my gym membership as I needed to stay in shape.
While none of these things are unreasonable, trying to do them all was eating into my finances. I also wanted to start saving for a house which wasn’t going to be possible until I got a pay rise or cut down my spending.
I didn’t take an interest in personal finance until a few years ago and I regret not having started sooner. Creating a budget, starting savings and learning when to say no are all things I wish I had done as soon as I moved to London.
4. Assuming every London event was for me
There are so many amazing things to do in London, many which you would not have the opportunity to do elsewhere. Each weekend you can read through timeout or the Londonist and find so many exciting events. When I first moved to London I wanted to make the most of this and tried to attend as many as possible.
I went to the Notting Hill Carnival, Diwali in Trafalgar Square, winter wonderland in Hyde park and watched the London marathon in person. I thought because I was in London, I needed to attend every event on offer in order to “make the most of it”. But eventually I discovered that I just don’t enjoy many busy crowded events and attending them was not bringing me any joy. The final straw came a year after I moved to London when I attended the Notting Hill Carnival which was so busy I had one of the worst panic attacks of my life. (read about my less than ideal experience here).
From then on I instead focused on the types of events that I did enjoy: things like the theatre, cocktail bars and intimate gigs. Once I stopped putting my time and energy into events that weren’t for me, I found so many more enjoyable activities that suited me a lot better. For example, sofasounds.
I am not trying to persuade you not to attend any of these events yourself. They are massively popular and amazing things to be a part of. And if they are the kind of events you are interested in then definitely go ahead and make the most of it. But the key lesson I learnt is to work out early on what you enjoy and stop wasting your time with things that you think you should be doing but don’t actually enjoy.
5. Not making an effort to meet new people
The final mistake on this list is about how long it took me to feel settled in London and build up a good friendship group. I am not exaggerating when I say it took me years to make new friends. When I was in university, I didn’t need to make an effort to make friends. It happened very quickly and very naturally without thinking about it. There were the people in my halls of residence, the people on my course and the people in the same societies as me. There were social events planned every single week to build on friendships and create close bonds.
As making friends previously had been so easy, I had never built up the skills to make friends from scratch. I assumed friendships just happened rather than having to be pursued. Unfortunately I found this was not the case. While some graduate schemes are similar to university in how easily you can make friends, my job did not have these sorts of perks. I found I got to know the few people I sat with at work and not many others. A lot of people at work were older than me or settled in their life and had zero interest in making new friends and socialising outside of work. Occasionally we would have after work drinks, but even then we would talk about work and then everyone would leave early to get their train home and cook dinner.
On reflection, I spent my first year in London very lonely. I hung out with people I already knew and my boyfriend and no-one else. I didn’t join any clubs or go to any meet up events. I was very shy and the thought of joining a club where I didn’t know anyone filled me with fear. It was only after I’ve been in London for a whole year, that I built up the confidence to start putting myself out there. I started doing parkrun each week with a colleague from work. A few months later I joined a women’s football club and met a whole load more women of a similar age to me.
I’ve realised now that friendships are not something that just happen. They are something you have to put effort into and pursue. There is a whole skill set involved in making friends with someone new and turning that friendship into something that exists outside of the environment that first brought you together.
Moving to London has been overall a great experience and I am grateful for everything I have learnt in the 4 + years since I made the move. If you are in the process of moving to London, I hope this helps you avoid making the same mistakes as me. You may, instead, make your own unique mistakes but that is not a bad thing, making mistakes is how we learn and grow.
“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re doing something.” Neil Gainman
What mistakes did you make moving to London? Let me know in the comments!
