Making friends in London in your 20s is difficult. At college and university friendships naturally develop without much effort required. However after graduation, it is easy to become detached from your friends and find yourself all on your own. This is especially true if you end up moving to a new city like London.
The reality is, as an adult, you cannot make friends without actively putting in effort. You have to put yourself out there – don’t assume friendships will just happen!
The other challenge is that you probably don’t have loads of free time anymore to make friends. You have a new job to get to grips with, maybe a new city to get your head around and the challenge of budgeting on a graduate salary.
There are many ways to make friends in London in your 20s, but in my experience these are the most effective.
Making friends with Housemates
The easiest way to make friends in London in your 20s is to move into a house share. Assuming you pick your house well, you will have an instant selection of new people to become friends with as soon as you arrive.
Even if you can afford to live alone, my advice is to start off with a house share anyway, simply for the social benefit. Living alone in a new city can be one of the loneliest places to be.
The best way to find a house share is to look at spareroom.com. There are regular adverts posted on there from current houses looking for new housemates. Generally as part of the advert will post a bit about the current residents: for example their approximate ages, their jobs and the vibe of the house. This can help you work out if you could potentially be friends with them before moving in.
There are a lot of things to consider when looking for a place to stay, however it is worth looking for somewhere where you expect you will get along well with the current house. Some house shares are more social than others so think about this when making your choice.
Once you move in, make an effort to get to know your house. Especially in the first month, try to say yes to any activity the house is doing. (If you say no too many times people eventually stop asking.)
Try also to invite your housemates to do different activities. An easy way to start is to offer to cook for the house or see who is up for watching some trashy TV together.
Making friends at Work
The second easiest way to make friends in London in your 20s is through your job. Turning colleagues into friends will not happen overnight but given you are around these people all the time, it gives plenty of time for friendships to develop.
If you have joined a job on a graduate scheme you will have a head start for making friends. Often these programmes start with residential trips and training courses for all the graduates joining the programme that year.
This creates an atmosphere similar to university where you meet lots of other people who are at a similar stage in life to you. It is common for graduates to have moved to a new city without knowing anyone so many of your new colleagues may also be keen to make friends.
My boyfriend joined a big graduate programme and instantly made loads of friends straight away. He even ended up going on holiday with them all later that year.
If your job does not involve this sort of structured induction, do not worry, you will still be able to make friends but it might take you a bit longer and require a bit more effort.
This was the situation I was in. My job when I first moved to London was at a small office and there was only 1 other person my age.
Because we were around each other most days, we easily became friends at work. However it took around 8 months for a friendship to develop outside of work when we met up to do the parkrun together.
I could have fast tracked this friendship though by taking the initiative much earlier. I could have easily asked my colleague to go for a drink after work or grab a coffee at lunch time.
At the time I didn’t want to seem too forward. (Perhaps you are thinking the same thing about a work colleague.) However a drink after work really isn’t a big deal. Try not to overthink it – what’s the worst that could happen!
Making friends at Sport Clubs
Finding friends beyond your job and house share requires much more effort. If you look at articles regarding how to make friends as an adult, they will generally suggest you join a club for a hobby you enjoy. This is OK if you have a specific hobby you already love, but if not, you might be struggling to work out what kind of club to join.
In my experience, the best kind of club to join to make friends are sports clubs. If you like sports, this is one of the best ways to make friends. (Even if you don’t like sports, there is no reason you can’t give something a go as a beginner. I promise it’s nothing like P.E at school!)
Team sports require you to get to know everyone in the team. You can’t just show up, do the class and get out. You actually have to interact with others as part of the sport. This forces you to socialise in a way other clubs (yoga, fitness class, painting etc.) do not. With these types of clubs I’ve found it very easy to turn up, do the class and leave without having to really talk to anyone at all. Which, if you are tring to make friends, isn’t really the point.
I also like sports clubs because there is not loads of pressure to make conversation. You can just talk about the sport itself and while you are playing, you won’t feel the pressure for small talk anyway. After the game, a lot of teams will go for a drink together as well to give you another opportunity to meet people.
If you want to join a sports team, have a look on go mammoth for social sports clubs near you. These are good because they are mainly for people who want to play a sport for fun and not take it too seriously. You can join with a team of people or join as an individual and they will add you to a team. Sports include football, netball, dodgeball and tag rugby.
If you are interested in a specific sport or want to join something more serious, have a search on google and ask to go along for a taster session.
Making friends through Volunteering
Another good way to make friends is to volunteer. Similar to sports clubs, this allows you to meet people with the focus being on something other than just making friends. It is also a good way to meet interesting people with similar interests to you.
For example, if you are an environmentalist, you could meet other people with the same passion if you volunteer to do a beach or park clean up event,
If you are interested in programming or computer science you could meet other people while volunteering at hackathon events or teaching coding classes (for example CodeFirstGirls).
If you are into running and community improvement projects, you could get involved with goodgym – a volunteering project where you run with a group to do some volunteering at a specific location.
You get the idea.
To find volunteering projects have a look at your local volunteering centre or search through opportunities on Do it or Volunteer London.
Making friends through Meetups and Clubs
Finally, there are lots of other types of clubs you can join to help you make friends in your 20s. You can find clubs listed on meetup or find a local facebook group for your area and keep an eye out for adverts for new clubs. It might take a little trial and error to find something that suits you but if you persevere you can meet lots of people this way.
It does take confidence to put yourself out there and meet strangers from the internet though. If you are introverted it can be tricky doing this for the first couple of times. Take it slow and go at your own pace. You don’t need to join every potential club in the first week!
Popular clubs you can consider joining include book clubs, choirs and crafting clubs. There are also groups you can join who meet up to go to the theatre or try out interesting restaurants. If you are in a new city and don’t know anyone, it can be tricky doing these things on your own. These clubs give you a way to try out new things even if you don’t have any friends yet.
You could also join a class to learn a new skill like a language class or a cooking class. If you play musical instruments you could join a band or orchestra. If you are into drama you could join a amature drama group and perform in a show.
In big cities like London, there really is a club for every possible hobby so do your research and pick whatever sounds interesting to you.
Making friends in London in your 20s takes time so don’t feel frustrated if you have been living in a new city for months and still don’t have anyone to go to brunch with. I’m a shy person so it took me well over a year to feel settled in London when I first moved here.
Keep persevering. Keep trying new things. Be yourself. The friendships will come!
Are you just moving to London for the first time? Don’t make the same mistakes as me – check out my post for 5 mistakes I made moving to London.
